I have to be careful of...

99% of the time I can keep tight reign on my thoughts, and what comes outta my mouth. I always try to be me and original. If I waiver in that, I feel like a fraud. I've come to the contusion...( something my sister says ;>) most people are always trying to one up you. At least in my experiences. That just isn't a good thing, and never endears me to you. I like original thought, action, ideas. I feel satisfied and fueled by others who are creative and march to their own beat...not to another's. I want to be a good person and forgive those who have taken from my creative thoughts, and made them their own...I have a hard time doing that. I have questions...is it best to just keep your mouth shut and try to find a healthy way to work through the anger of it. OR...let them have it. I so want to go with the latter, but realize that knowing ME, I'd say something I'd always regret. Plus, I don't want to not do has Christ commands, " To love your neighbor as yourself." No where have I read or learned that any of it would be a piece of cake. It is not for sure. As I said in one of my earlier blogs...I have issues....deal...dealing...dealt.... Several things are a given: I love Jesus, my animal companions,my true friends, my families. I love being artistic, I love expressing myself through knitting, working with and spinning fiber, words, thoughts, and photos...most of all... I don't want this to be an " I gotta be me entry" I want it to be I am Jenny, I am an original, I am different...you hurt me when you copy me, you hurt me when you dismiss or talk down to me...you hurt me by trying to over-ride my personality with yours..

 Guess who's yard ?
(c) J Dobbins 2010

We all have to be saved.

“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”

Dragonfly I saved from Drowning

(c) J Dobbins 2010

Standing Strong is all you can do..

My sister's husband is still in critical condition. Two heart attacks and a stroke in less than 2 weeks. He rallies then things go bad again. The Doctor's have tried to stent him with no success. By-pass cannot be performed either at this time. They did do a pericardiocentesis to draw the fluid out of the heart sac. He has some relief now.

I hear a rigidly controlled Nancy when I talk to her, bound and determined to do it all on her own...no tears...no asking for help...no sign of weakness. She says she sees no reason for tears, they don't make anything better. Oh...but they do. They cleanse us, produce endorphins, in the end, they do make us feel better. But if control is what she needs to get through...who am I to say anything. I can only be supportive, pray for her and her family. Be there when or if she needs me.

Both my sister's are having mighty trials...but one mightier than them is at the helm.

Dark Phase Swallowtail

(c) J Dobbins 2010 

Life always has sidetracks...

Well, things have been interesting and a little distressing as of late. My youngest sister's husband had a heart attack and is having triple by-pass surgery this coming Monday in N. Augusta, SC. I've heard from her more the last few days than I have in an entire lifetime.

I've been really sick. My Coumadin levels have plummeted again from no apparent reason. I have a surgical procedure I have to start preparing for on the 27th for an actual date of August 2nd. No Coumadin for 5 days.... praying that my heart does not fibrillate and there isn't a thrown clot. Talk about negative thinking, sometimes you just can't help it. I do realize that I'm in the hands of my Lord Savior.

It's been also hard to walk still, the heel spur issue hasn't been resolved yet. I have decided on not having anymore cortisone shots into my heel. It does no good at all, and I develop pain at the injection site. Orthotics should be in soon. What a pain, in more ways than one.

Been having to think through some tough feelings lately. I love being an artist, I like very much working in multi-media. Photography means allot to me. Recently a person I grew up with and haven't seen in years, has shown up on one of the social network sites I frequent. They have been looking at all my photos and followinging links to my photos on other sites. Now they are shooting photos. Do I feel jealousy, or am I just irked? I have an old friend who has always told me, imitation is the highest form of a compliment. I've never really been able to buy that one. Sounds good in the short run, but not in the long. I say, " Hey get your own style and passion, don't mimic mine." As I said, I'm having some issues. One day it'll be alright.

Made almost 60 dollars worth of soap sales at the Fiber Spinning Guild I belong to.That's so much better than only 11 sales on Etsy. That bugs me too. There's probably over a million soapmakers, fiber artists on that site, how do you find your niche...just sayin... Ordered some Coyote Cotton roving from one of my favorite fiber artists. I love spinning cotton. Thinking on a cotton shrug. Who knows.

My sister and bestfriend Patty, is also having medical issues. I pray for a diagnosis soon. She's my hero, can't tell you how much I admire and adore her. She is a Chaplain in Hospice, God does mighty work through Patty.

Purple Coneflower @ Midnight

(C) J Dobbins July 2010

Flooded with ideas...

Well, I'm in the planning stages of my next batch of soap. A true coconut cream soap . I found this really old soap recipe, that used coconut milk instead of water. Sounds pretty good since my goat milk soaps as of late are made with pure goat milk, no water. Why not coconut milk? I've decided to also use finely , and I do mean finely shredded coconut, and scent with coconut fragrance oil.  Decided to super fat with walnut oil instead of castor. ( however that might change) Going to do a 1lb. test batch next week.Gave Marty a bar of the Delightfully Dill, he's my best critic...the jury is in...loves it. He seems to favor all the goat milk, don't know why. Need to send Patty a bar too.

Came face to face with a baby Groundhog yesterday. He's sharing the Chipmunk's residence. It doesn't seem to be scared of me. Not good, especially since one of my neighbors hates Groundhogs. I don't care that its mowed down allot of my Johnson Blue Geraniums. As long as he steers clear of my Calla Lillie's;>) Have lots to do to get ready for the North Country Spinners Guild tomorrow. Been also tweaking my Etsy Shop, and sitting in on some Etsy Virtual Labs. Have learned quite a bit about promoting myself.Will close with this  photo of a little bandit in my carrot garden...

Little Bandit in the carrot garden

(C)J Dobbins 2010

On a Really Hot Day..

I have been roasting with temps around 105 on Kemah Lake. But I can lounge if I want in cool ac. I've been spending way too much time outside, nausea ensues. But I digress, I have been keeping birdbaths filled with fresh water every 2 to 3 hours. I see all kinds of birds panting, while this may sound weird me living on a lake, the birds love, love, my birdbaths, and backyard habitat. I've been watching 2 pairs of Eastern Bluebirds, the males are very obliging with letting me get very close. The females are more weary, but just as gorgeous. It's a blessing to live where I live.

Martin is back to work today. I miss him. Now it's back to doing everything myself. He will never know what a complete help he was while home.

Spinning Guild is coming up on Friday. Several have requested that I bring soaps. I will bring a dozen or so. Should be fun. Thought instead of dragging my spinning wheel out, I'd just take one of my drop spindles and some knitting I haven't finished as of yet. We are meeting outside on the veranda so it'll be fun.

  I got a thank-you note from a sweet customer for the Etsy potholders I wove. It was very nice of her. I have to get some work done...haven't made a batch of soap in over two weeks...slightly depressed when I don't make soap. Coconut Cream is on the agenda..... :>)

One of 2 male Eastern Bluebirds (c) JDobbins July 2010

Male Eastern Bluebird (C) J Dobbins July 2010

A day Spent in Wonder in my own enviroment...

Yellow Swallowtail visiting my Coneflowers

(C) J Dobbins July 2010

Bluet dragonflies

(C) J Dobbins July 2010

Blue Darner On my Dutch Cobblestones

(C) J Dobbins 2010

Two Bluets in my hosta garden

(C) JDobbins 2010

Can it be Bluets in love?

(C) J Dobbins 2010

Sometimes....I don't even want to be around other humans. Marty's home on vacation. I like that. It's freed me up to get out and just love my surroundings. He has taken over all my many duties this week and given me a true "vacation" He's cooked, cleaned, washed laundry, fed our birds, cats, dogs.. I am so happy. I've been trying to recover from bad mojo going on with my left foot...nasty heel spurs.  I always miss my family around the 4th of July. I don't know why...I'm still sad over Gussie's loss. I miss every animal companion I've ever had the delight in sharing my home or life with...still...always... Yesterday was a BAD day...but I got out and took photographs...Tomorrow we will spend the day at Martys' brother Bill's house. He just had triple by-pass surgery...I personally think it's nutty to have family over just days after surgery. May be it brings comfort...we'll see. Happy Independence Day!